Cheating Cheaters

Okay, true confession time. I already told you I had to go to the grocery store for dry ice. Well, then Hannah's teacher put in a request for a mini-pumpkin at the last minute. Also, we were having a Halloween Extravaganza in our cul-de-sac and I had planned ahead for everything except the paper cups to serve hot chocolate in. Once I was in the produce section to choose our mini-pumpkin, I thought it would also be cool to get a bunch of strange root vegetables to carve like they did in the old times. So, I grabbed jicima, rutabagas, parsnips and turnips; not groceries, strictly speaking, because I wasn’t planning on eating any of them, just decorating, but boy, did my list grow as I justified the breaking of my first rule. Once I got into the store I could hardly keep myself from buying a bunch of unnecessary stuff….But I did fight my daemons and came out with everything I just confessed, nothing else.

I told you, it’s an addiction for me, buying groceries. It was truly intoxicating just walking down the aisles. To add to my euphoria, there were people in every department offering Hannah and I candy (it was Halloween, remember) and reinforcing my habit with a chocolate reward at every turn. I felt like one of Pavlov’s dogs. I shudder to think of what I could have done if I hadn’t restrained myself and remembered my purpose. As it is, I spent $57 (I bought 10 packages of paper cups that were 10 for $10, and rare root vegetables are not cheap) and I have to confess my lapse right at the end of my experiment. Hopefully I can retain enough dignity and self-control for the next few days to relay the fascinating lessons learned.

Before I sign off for the night, I have to say that my purchases were well worth the cheat. Am I applying moral relativism to the situation? Do the ends justify the means? I don’t know. But at school I ran the rotation that was voted most exciting and engaging by KC's whole class. We did an array of experiments with dry ice that were exciting and engaging and involved all five sences. Our little booth attracted the attention of all the students, faculty and parents of the wing we were set up in. And, that evening we ladled up 150 paper cups of hot chocolate on a cold, drizzly night - serving friends and strangers alike. We were like a little Halloween Haven where all the witches, ghosts, princesses, and superheroes along with their parents enjoyed a bit of respite from the chilly night air. That’s why I did it, that’s why I always do it, groceries make people happy, right? Or, maybe it was all for the praise and attention of others. To quote a favorite line, from a favorite musical, "Maybe that's all good deeds are when looked at with an ice cold eye." Maybe. And that dry ice was colder than ice cold. Hmm. Ponder, ponder. Now I’m just wondering, do you think they have some sort of anonymous 12 step program for cheating cheaters like me?