Honesty Part II - A First Step to Recovery

Just after writing my last post, I found that the LDS church has adapted the original 12 Steps of AA to fit the framework of our beliefs.  It is a beautiful program, and while I don’t mean to make light of people struggling in deeply addictive situations, I have to say that even those of us stuck in less serious habits can benefit from the principles of this program.  Since grocery shopping is slightly less weighty than drug addiction, I’ll lighten up the content to fit this topic.  Again, no intent to offend.

So, I already tackled the first step without even knowing it.  I’ve borrowed from the words I found on the LDS website and adapted my own here, too.

Step 1 - HONESTY.  Admit that you, by your own power, are unable to overcome your bad habit and that your life is less manageable because of it.

I’m Mariah and I have a problem keeping track of how much money I spend, especially at the grocery store, because I love food, and I love to feed people, and sometimes, convenience wins out over convention and at certain stores I can’t be trusted to leave without spending at least $100 (Costco).  This has made my financial life less manageable than it otherwise would be.  Honestly, even when I get my rebate from Costco each year, which is 2% of my annual purchases, I have spent it ten times over in my mind before I even walk into the store.  And, when I come out, I have far overspent my “free” money reward.

There you have it.  Step 1.  The other part of honesty is that when I have this public forum to be accountable to, I am more honest with you all than I am with myself alone.  So, by my own power I have not been able to overcome, but with divine help, and encouragement from friends, I am on my way to living a more manageable abundant life.  It is already evident in my accounts.

Here’s a record of expenditures and meals for the last week:

1/2  - With a miracle ham, a hannukah feast (yes, I just said those two in order), the Sicilian fest my family threw, hosting a farewell for neighbors (which was potluck), and the annual Christmas Eve finger food party behind us I have ………...................................................................................................................$200

1/3 - Bountiful Baskets with extra bread, fruit and olive oil....................................................................$45

1/4 – Costco (I’m getting better)..........................................................................................................$35

1/6 – Shakey’s Pizza (they loaded us up with freebies because they were out of one thing we ordered.  We came home with two boxes of food.)...…………………….........................................................……$30

1/9 – Smith’s Groceries………….......................................................................................................$30

1/10 – 10 days to go, this may be my highest amount yet at this point....................................................$60

Monday 1/2 - Sandwiches

Tuesday 1/3 – Tacos

Wednesday 1 / 4 – Spaghetti carbonara and a red sauce

Thursday 1/5 – Egg rolls, rice, eda mame

Friday 1/6 – Shakey’s Pizza

Saturday 1/7 - Date night, kids fend for themselves

Sunday 1/8 – Pulled pork, rolls, goat cheese and spinach salad, baked potatoes, carrots, olives

Honesty

I put this video here so you could appreciate the chorus of this song and we could all reflect on the level of HONESTY we do, or do not, indulge in.  I'm about ready to confess a few things, so I just wanted to prepare you.

 

 

I made it to December 15th with $20 left of our $300 budget that was meant to last until the 20th.  The boys' birthday dinners were planned and I thought we were going to be fine.  One wanted buffalo wings, the other asked for chicken cordon bleu.  Then, we all split up on a Saturday to do some shopping and I sent half the troop to Costco.  I did NOT say, "By the way, you only have $20 or you'll go out of bounds on our experiment."  I just let them go, and $70 later the deed was done.  Here's how the money went:

 

12/10 - With 10 days, and 2 birthday dinners to go..........................................$46
12/13 - Bountiful Baskets................................................................................$16
12/15 - Breads................................................................................................$10
12/16 - Birthday dinner purchases....................................................................$70
12/19 - Last day of Experiment Period 2..........................................................-$50

Then, the Christmas Holidays hit.  I'm ashamed to admit that I let the whole experiment fly right out the window.  No tracking, no budgeting, no care for how much we'd spent. Looking back it was about about $100 on extra food and specialty items spent between Dec. 24 and Dec. 31.  I will say that we gave our treat jar away, and all the kids added extra money to it before we sealed it up. It was exciting and almost made up for the reckless abandon of birthday dinners and holiday purchases.   Still, even though technically we lived on what we gave, by the letter of the law, we went over budget.

So, it's over and I'm sorry.  I hope to not do it again.  Failure is not defeat, unless I abandon the whole experiment.  But I'm not sure what to do now.  Should I -

1. Pick up where I left off and say, "We spent a $100 of our grocery budget in 5 days, now we only have $200 for the rest of the month,"  or,
2. Reset and say the Holidays were a freebie, we'll be better in the future and get back on track. 

 Let me know what you think.  I really need some direction.